Being a Good Wife
Dropped the Kid off at daycare this morning. This time their complaint is that he isn't napping well. Really... He's back 4 days after two and a half weeks off and he has the audacity to not happily nap. Well, time to call the therapist again! (end of sarcasm). I mean, for reals, he is two and a half. I still fight naps. Anyways, the Summer of Me has put so much into perspective and all I can say is "whatevs". And then I whip my hair back and forth.
So, last night I had a great dinner with the Husband at home. We feed the Kid before and put him to bed, so that we can have an adult only dinner. Once or twice a week we try to have dinner with the Kid but he just seems to bring up politics and religion and it gets awkward. Anyway, I was thinking about how awesome a wife I was and then I asked the Husband if he thought I was a good wife and he said "Yes. Does that mean we are going to have sex now?" Ha ha. No.
No marriage is perfect and no spouse is perfect (I'm almost perfect but I currently have the fats). Life gets in the way and has a way (way.way.way) of turning even the most happy-go-lucky woman into a screaming harpy. Marriage is hard. Life is hard. But here are my personal guidelines to making me happier that in the end makes the Husband happier. Happy wife happy life.
Letting go: As women, we have a lot of pressure. We seemingly can't win. Get a promotion at work? You slept with the boss. You work hard and don't show a ton of emotion? You're a ball breaking bitch. You work outside the home? You are a terrible mother who puts her career first. You are a stay at home mom? You are lazy. The judgement is incredible. I like to judge, it is a hobby. But I judge when judging is called for. I take judging to the professional level. No amateur judging for me. So what I am trying to say, without judging, is to let it go. People are always going to find fault in what you do. I still am sensitive to comments and to the fact that not everybody loves me. I got the cold cold coldest shoulder this weekend and it hurt but I have to move on. Otherwise the Husband is going to hear about it for days. And that isn't being a good wife. Unless I complain topless. Then I am allowed to go on for days.
Empowering him: Listen, I know that I can get a onesie and diaper on in record speed. I know that the Kid won't even know what has happened to him as he walks out the door in jodhpurs and riding boots (note to self: purchase toddler jodhpurs and riding boots). I'm the ninja dresser. The Husband, when he dressed the Kid, makes it sound like he is shoving bamboo up the Kid's fingernails when putting on his socks. In the past or on days when I have a headache and cannot.take.the.noise I will shove the Husband aside and huffily say "I'll do it!!!". And then he gets huffy. And then I get more huffy that he got huffy. And we both are huffy. Not good. So, what I have to do is sit back and let him do things his way. There is no right or wrong way. Well, my way is right, but I know he will get the job done. I didn't marry an infant. He is capable. And I need to tell myself that every day.
Compliments: People like positive reinforcement. Compliments are nice. Compliments are important. Even if I am having a crap day, I try to give the Husband a compliment. "You have good taste. You married me." Sometimes I do a compliment day and I bombard him with appreciation. It totally works. Trust me. You will have a happy husband.
Expect a lot from him: This may seem counter-intuitive but listen, it is true. I expect a lot from him because I truly think he is an amazing husband, friend and dad. He's allowed to drop the ball once in a while - like squash rackets for Christmas - da hell were you thinking? But we ended up playing squash at one point and it was awesome - so I let it go. But other things I will not let go because I, well, expect a lot from him. I refuse to put up with a ton of crap and I am vocal about it. People may say I am demanding and that is true but why should I let someone I love to the ends of the Earth treat me like crap? No way Jose. I am totally worth it. What I give in should be what I get back. Not vocalizing what you want leads to resentment. And why would my husband want to be married to a pushover? I respect him (not when he plays ska music) and he respects me and we should both have high expectations. I cook him dinner, do his laundry, vacuum, clean, makes the beds, get the Kid up every morning and work a full time job: he can totally buy me something once in a while.
There are other things that I could write about but then this would turn into a book. A free book that would bring me no monies. So above are the most important points in how I try and be a good wife. And it never hurts to dress like a Hooter's girl once in a while.
So, last night I had a great dinner with the Husband at home. We feed the Kid before and put him to bed, so that we can have an adult only dinner. Once or twice a week we try to have dinner with the Kid but he just seems to bring up politics and religion and it gets awkward. Anyway, I was thinking about how awesome a wife I was and then I asked the Husband if he thought I was a good wife and he said "Yes. Does that mean we are going to have sex now?" Ha ha. No.
No marriage is perfect and no spouse is perfect (I'm almost perfect but I currently have the fats). Life gets in the way and has a way (way.way.way) of turning even the most happy-go-lucky woman into a screaming harpy. Marriage is hard. Life is hard. But here are my personal guidelines to making me happier that in the end makes the Husband happier. Happy wife happy life.
Letting go: As women, we have a lot of pressure. We seemingly can't win. Get a promotion at work? You slept with the boss. You work hard and don't show a ton of emotion? You're a ball breaking bitch. You work outside the home? You are a terrible mother who puts her career first. You are a stay at home mom? You are lazy. The judgement is incredible. I like to judge, it is a hobby. But I judge when judging is called for. I take judging to the professional level. No amateur judging for me. So what I am trying to say, without judging, is to let it go. People are always going to find fault in what you do. I still am sensitive to comments and to the fact that not everybody loves me. I got the cold cold coldest shoulder this weekend and it hurt but I have to move on. Otherwise the Husband is going to hear about it for days. And that isn't being a good wife. Unless I complain topless. Then I am allowed to go on for days.
Empowering him: Listen, I know that I can get a onesie and diaper on in record speed. I know that the Kid won't even know what has happened to him as he walks out the door in jodhpurs and riding boots (note to self: purchase toddler jodhpurs and riding boots). I'm the ninja dresser. The Husband, when he dressed the Kid, makes it sound like he is shoving bamboo up the Kid's fingernails when putting on his socks. In the past or on days when I have a headache and cannot.take.the.noise I will shove the Husband aside and huffily say "I'll do it!!!". And then he gets huffy. And then I get more huffy that he got huffy. And we both are huffy. Not good. So, what I have to do is sit back and let him do things his way. There is no right or wrong way. Well, my way is right, but I know he will get the job done. I didn't marry an infant. He is capable. And I need to tell myself that every day.
Compliments: People like positive reinforcement. Compliments are nice. Compliments are important. Even if I am having a crap day, I try to give the Husband a compliment. "You have good taste. You married me." Sometimes I do a compliment day and I bombard him with appreciation. It totally works. Trust me. You will have a happy husband.
Expect a lot from him: This may seem counter-intuitive but listen, it is true. I expect a lot from him because I truly think he is an amazing husband, friend and dad. He's allowed to drop the ball once in a while - like squash rackets for Christmas - da hell were you thinking? But we ended up playing squash at one point and it was awesome - so I let it go. But other things I will not let go because I, well, expect a lot from him. I refuse to put up with a ton of crap and I am vocal about it. People may say I am demanding and that is true but why should I let someone I love to the ends of the Earth treat me like crap? No way Jose. I am totally worth it. What I give in should be what I get back. Not vocalizing what you want leads to resentment. And why would my husband want to be married to a pushover? I respect him (not when he plays ska music) and he respects me and we should both have high expectations. I cook him dinner, do his laundry, vacuum, clean, makes the beds, get the Kid up every morning and work a full time job: he can totally buy me something once in a while.
There are other things that I could write about but then this would turn into a book. A free book that would bring me no monies. So above are the most important points in how I try and be a good wife. And it never hurts to dress like a Hooter's girl once in a while.
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