An Open Letter to My Husband

Dear Husband,

I just wanted to write you a little letter to let you know how much I love you. I love the fact that I do not have to stand on my head naked to get your attention (actually, there's a birthday idea in the future). In fact, all I have to do is yell "pay attention to me!" and then you do. You are smart that way. You are an incredible father even though sometimes when you yell at our son when he is misbehaving you do sound like a German Shepard trainer because yelling in German is terrifying. I know how much you love him and I appreciate all that you do for him. When we met all those years ago I knew that you were the one and I believe that you knew you wanted to see me topless. You put up with my crazy schemes and are always there when I have breakdown when the glue gun fails. I love that we can spend hours in bed talking and bitching and me slapping your hand away everytime you show me affection.

And now that I have declared my love for you, I would like to gently remind to NEVER BUY VANILLA SCENTED TOILET PAPER AGAIN! That crap is awful. My nether regions do not need to smell like a Yankee Candle. I am not comfortable. You owe me.

Lots and lots of love,

Your Wife

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